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Tag Archives self-improvement

Why It Is Ok To Have A Bad Day

I am an avid believer that we, if we believe it, can achieve anything we put our minds too. I believe that through hard work and organisation we can achieve the work life balance we all crave. That we can achieve our goals all while being a good role model and parent to our children. However with that being said, I have never pretended it would be easy. There are days when I think that I have everything down pat. That I am doing pretty darn well at this parenting game. But then there are days like today where I just want to smash my head against a wall and hide under a rock. Hoping that the never ending ‘to do’ list will miraculously disappear and I will no longer have this pit in my stomach. Feeling guilty that my mind is not 100% focussed on my son. But while it sucks to have those days of self doubt and anxiety. It can sometimes be a blessing in disguise…a very good disguise. Here is why it is ok to have a bad day.

 

Why it is ok to have a bad day

 

Self Doubt is Only One Step Away From Self Improvement

 

A healthy amount of self doubt and criticism is not always a bad thing. Even though at the time it may feel like your life is falling apart and you cannot seem to do anything right. It can actually be a catalyst for some real personal growth and change. More often that not people who are able to question themselves and their abilities are more likely to succeed in life than those who believe they are always right. It shows a willingness to learn which can also turn into increased motivation to become the person you want to be. Remember Rome wasn’t built in a day

Before I started studying for my Marketing Qualification. The idea of having to study every day plus run my blog and look after my 2 year old seemed impossible. I seriously doubted my abilities. But I said to myself if other people can do it why can’t I? I used my self doubt as motivation to improve. So I sat down and wrote out a weekly schedule and then signed up for my course. A year later and I managed to get a distinction on my exam despite my previous worries.

Just remember that you and your journey is unique. Comparing your chapter one to someones else’s chapter 20 is a sure fire way to lose all self confidence. Use your self doubt as motivation to succeed and don’t let it get the better of you.

There is a lesson in every struggle

 

For every really bad day I have had. I can be sure that I have learnt something from it. Either about myself or about situations around me. I have learnt for example that if I don’t keep on top of the laundry everyday then at the end of the week it will be too much and I will blow a casket trying to get everything done at once. Or that my time and energy is better focussed around people who support and want the best for me. Than it is to be around toxic people.

When you feel like you are about to explode from sheer stress try and see the lesson in it. Why are you stressed? Is it your own doing? If yes what can you do to avoid a similar situation in the future. If not, then is it something you can control? Is it really worth the metal energy. I am a real worrier. Sometimes I worry and panic about the most mundane stupidest things ever. I am aware of this and when it happens I try to address it and find ways to let go of the anguish.

It’s A Sign You Need A Breather

There are times when just about anything will annoy me. Something that wouldn’t have phased me yesterday is really grinding my gears today. Yes it could be I am hormonal (damn you PMS). But it is usually my body’s way of telling me that I need a breather. So instead of charging through the day totally pissed off and risk being pissed off again tomorrow. Take a moment. Use it as a friendly reminder that you need a little me time. Even if it is just a hot cup of tea while sitting on the sofa for 5 minutes. Or lighting a candle and taking a nice bath. Take that moment for yourself to reflect and gather your thoughts.

Don’t forget to ask for help. If the kids are clinging to your leg and you are about to say something you regret. Its time for hubby to step in so you can take that breather in peace.

 

Life throws us so many curve balls that it is normal to sometimes feel like it is getting the better of you. But learning to channel the negative emotions in to positive outcomes can really help improve your everyday life as well as your mental well being. So give your self some slack and know that no one is perfect. Even if they pretend to be. Embrace that bad day and it might just turn in to a good one!

Check out my post on Morning habits for a productive day for more inspiration!

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What it is ok to have a bad day

 

 

 

 

 

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How To Boost Confidence When You Feel Like A Failure

I always believed that self esteem issues were a phase of adolescence. A phase of finding yourself as you grow from a child to an adult. However looking at myself now at the age of 31 I feel that I still struggle with feelings of inadequacy like I did when I was a teenager. I have always struggled with my self-esteem. The fear of not being good enough, of not fitting in. Being too scared to take that first step forward for the fear of failure or ridicule. Though I have grown and learnt lot through the years, there is always a step in life that makes me question myself. That can shatter all the hard work I have done in one single sweep. But I have found that i can always get back up again by addressing a few simple things. Below I share my strategies on How To Boost Confidence When You Feel Like A Failure.

 

Boost Confidence

 

Stop comparing yourself to others

 

Comparing yourself to others is the root cause of low self-esteem and confidence issues, and yet we all  do it. In this day where Instagram has created a widespread epidemic of FOMO it is hard not to get caught up in it. If everyone lived the exact same lives and looked exactly the same way then I doubt inadequacy issues would exist . But how boring would life be? There would be nothing to dream about or to strive for.

As easy as it is to compare yourself to Jenny down the block, try to remember that even Jenny has her imperfections and is probably comparing herself to someone else too. Instead of beating yourself up because someone seems to have a better life / boy / job than you. Change your mindset and channel those feelings into something more positive. Use someone else’s success to inspire and motivate you to create your own.

 

Stock up on your fruit and veg

 

As daft as this sounds this is a huge one! Have you ever gone on a junk food eating spree and then come back feeling the worst about yourself. You feel unhealthy, fat and ugly all because you fed your body food you knew you probably shouldn’t have. However when you eat super healthy the opposite happens. You feel motivated, full of energy and better in your skin.

That is because your body needs a whole array of vitamins and minerals to function and when it is deficit it can play a major role on your mood and mental health. So imagine how you would feel if you ate junk all the time. Not to mention that your appearance will start to show signs of wear and tear if you are lacking in nutrients for a long period of time. Your skin is the first to suffer if you are not getting the right hydration or vitamins. So get those blenders out and start packing in the greens.

 

Boost Confidence

Look After Your Appearance

 

Being well groomed and dressed play a huge part in your confidence levels. It is amazing what a good blow out and outfit can do! I have found that the days where I couldn’t be bothered to look after my appearance were often days where I felt the worst about myself. I am sure you all know that feeling when you get a new outfit and you wear it out for the first time. You always feel amazing because you feel good about how you look. Take a look at all of the women who exuberate confidence. They all take a lot of pride in their appearance. And for good reason.

I am not saying that you need to dress up to the nines with a thick face of make up everyday. Or that you need to constantly splash the cash on new outfits. However taking little steps to make yourself feel pretty everyday will help you to feel more confident and sure of yourself. Check out my post on my easy no makeup makeup look if you are looking for some inspiration.

 

Let go of the Negative

 

I am a perfectionist at heart and I often put unnecessary pressure on myself to be the most perfect housekeeper, mother, wife, everything on the planet. But these expectations often lead to me ripping myself to shreds when i struggle to achieve them. Your inner voice is a powerful one. It is the voice you hear the most often and so it is important to keep it in check. When the negative thoughts start to flood in, don’t allow them to fool you into believing they are right. Instead fob them off. I learnt some great ways to quieten my mind during my struggles as a teen. Check my post here for more details.

Good ways to boost positive thinking is to practice affirmations and keep a vision board. I love a vision board as it keeps me focussed and motivated on the things I want to achieve instead of dwelling on the things I don’t have. Encourage yourself to think more positively about your life and yourself as a person. You will be surprised at how lucky you actually are when you pay attention.

Secondly sometimes we have people in our lives who truly do not bring the best out of us. If you are surrounded my people who feed your negativity then it may be time to ask if you really need these people in your life. Surrounding yourself with positive like minded people is better for your progress and mental health.

 

We all have momentary lapses of confidence in ourselves from time to time. I hope these tactics can help you in the future to work your way to being the confident person you want to be. It is a work in progress. No one is 100% confident in themselves in all aspects of their lives. Just know that small progress is better than none.

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4 Ways You Are Self Sabotaging And How To Stop It

We all want to be successful in life. Whether it be that you want to get your dream body, obtain your dream career or succeed in relationships. Success is the ultimate goal for most people. Yet even though we may dream of it and feel passionately about it there is often a subconscious drive within us to self sabotage ourselves. We want that fit body yet we stuff ourselves with junk. We want that dream career but we don’t put in the work that is needed. Which puts up unnecessary obstacles to our success. So why are we self-sabotaging? I decided to delve deeper and look at the ins and out of self sabotage and the ways in which we can shake it. Are you self-sabotaging yourself?

 

Are you self-sabotaging yourself?

1. Put the phone down

As I write this blog post I can see at the corner of my eye my phone lighting up with notifications. And no matter how hard I try I feel my concentration fading and my urge to look at my phone take hold of me. I bet this sounds familiar? As wonderful and useful the smart phone innovation has been it has turned us all into phone addicts desperate for our next hit. Try to limit your time on your phone as hard as it sounds, and turn it on airplane mode when you need to do something productive. You will be able to concentrate better and will not be distracted and end up spending your valuable time scrolling the pages of Instagram.! I am turning mine off right now.

2. Staying in your comfort zone

This is one thing that I struggle with as an introvert. Putting myself in uncomfortable situations or situations where i have to …*gasp*…talk to people, can give me real anxiety. However by staying at home all the time and keeping to my comfort zones I will never learn and experiences the things in life I want to experience. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and put yourself in uncomfortable situations. Start by doing little things such as driving down a route you have never done before, or striking up  conversation with a stranger. I used to stress so much about driving our big car around by myself. However it only took me a few practise rounds to be confident in the car.

Are you self-sabotaging yourself?

3. Procrastinating

When I look at all of the entrepreneurs and influencers I admire, they all have one thing in common. They do not procrastinate! They get on with it. Procrastination is the number one cause of failure yet it is probably the hardest habit to fix. It just takes some will power. I find that if I start the day productively then I tend to have a more productive day with less procrastination. Compared to a day where I have a chilled out morning. I have been wanting to lose those extra kilos since having my son for what seems like forever. He is 2 years old. Talk about procrastination!!! So I have now started to get up earlier in the mornings to do my work out before he is awake. Hard? Yes but it has helped me to start the day in a positive way.

4. Not being organised

The biggest issue faced when not being about to achieve your goals is a lack of organisation. Just like anything, to achieve greatness you need a strategy. To have a strategy you need to be organised and have a plan. That includes a plan for your day ahead. When you have no plan for your day then you are more likely to put things off for later and lose track of what needs to be done. I always make a to do list and a time plan so I know how i am going to fit everything into my day. While always still scheduling some me time.

For example, I set aside 2 hours a day for my blog which is usually during Gabriel’s nap. Then 2 hours of study from 7pm to 9pm, with an hour to spare for me to have some free time before I go to bed. This way I decrease my chances of procrastinating during the day and not getting anything done.

Sometimes there are more serious underlying issues that could be the cause for your self-sabotage. These may need to be addressed on a deeper level. Low self esteem and self worth can sometimes be a cause for this. To make any real change the root cause needs to be worked on. Just know that we are all capable of achieving great things, it is all in our mindset.

Check out how learning to live in the present saved me

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Dealing With Living Far From Family

By Posted on 9 4 m read

Living far away from your family can be difficult for everyone no matter what stage of life you are in. However once you become a parent that absence becomes more obvious and difficult to bear.

I have aways been a very independent person. If I need to do something I will do it and will rarely ask anyone for help, even if I need it. That is just a part of who I am, something I am trying to improve but with some difficulty. However since becoming a mother I have found myself more than once wishing that I had my family closer. That I had the support that I needed at times of crisis. (Read my post about how Parenthood makes you appreciate your parents)

“There were times when I felt like I was going to break”

It is no secret that parenthood has its rewards and challenges. To the never-ending kisses you receive before bedtime, to the times I felt like I was at breaking point. I am the first person to say that if you choose to have a child then it is your responsibility to look after them and work your life around your child. I would never expect any one of our family members to take on that responsibility and commitment. They have their own lives to live however sometimes you just need that little extra support to help you get back on your feet.

There were times when I felt like I was going to break. Back when Gabriel was a few months old and he just wouldn’t stop crying. He was tired, probably overly tired. But despite him being tired he just would not sleep. I remember standing over the crib rocking him and patting him desperately trying to soothe my crying baby for what felt like hours.

The constant sound of the crying was sending me overboard until I finally cracked. For a split second I lost control of my temper. For a split second I wanted to scream and throw him across the room. It was only a split second. But that split second sent me into an emotional spiral of guilt. I left him to cry while I went to my room and cried myself.

At that moment. I needed my mum. I needed someone that understood me and that I knew wouldn’t judge me. Someone that would sweep in and help no questions asked and reassure me that I was not the worst mother on the planet. I needed my own family.

“I needed someone that understood me”

Having family nearby has its obvious perks(Babysitting and home cooked meals). But one thing that comes along with it is Family Influence. When I see Gabriel with his grandparents from my partners side. It is a lovely thing to watch. He loves his grandparents and he knows who they are and what they represent. He is growing up with the same influence his father grew up with. But what influence does he have from my side of the family?

living far away from your family

My partners side of the family are all very sporty. They love their sports and I can see this influence rubbing off on my son already. My side however are very musical, a trait that my partners side do not posses. My brother and I grew up with the Burmese culture and some of my most treasured memories are from our big family dinners with lots of traditional burmese food. Singing and sharing stories with all of my uncles, aunties and cousins. Music and food was the essence of my childhood. How do I give that essence to Gabriel when there is only one person around to represent it?

Steps to Survive

As difficult as it can be, i think the first step to surviving without your family is to remember why there is distance in the first place and to learn to accept it. Besides moving back to Australia there is nothing I can do to change it. And the reason I live so far is because I chose to live in Europe.The next step is to do everything you can to keep in touch with your family and implement their influence and culture. We are lucky that we live in a day when technology is at its best. I am able to video call my folks whenever possible, and though it is not the same as being face toface. My family get to see Gabriel as he grows up and learns new things.

And finally know that even though your family are not close by, you probably do have a lot people that are more the willing to help if you ask them.  I know that my partners family as well as some of my friends would have helped me if I had reached out. That was just my own pride getting in the way. Sometimes being away from your own family gives you the opportunity to become closer to others. Family doesn’t always mean blood. It is a bond that you can have with anyone if you are willing.

 

Dealing with living far away from family

 

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