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Get Glamorous Hair : Add Volume with Micro Bead Hair Extensions!

By Posted on 8 3 m read

I have always wanted to get hair extensions. A lot people who know me are probably reading this and thinking ‘ Whaaaat’! Yes I know, I already have quite long hair. But it is not about length. Despite having long hair, the one thing that my hair lacks is thickness. And that make all the difference.

I cannot pull of the sleek straight look. I end up looking like someone has just poured a bucket of water over my head because it is so flat to my scalp. I also have trouble achieving glamorous voluminous waves no matter how many times I curl my hair. Thin hair is thin hair no matter what you do.

So with my upcoming nuptials and my recent vow to get out of Frumpy-ville. I decided to take the plunge and I absolutely love it.

After doing some research, I chose to go to Salon 70 on Great Western Road here in Aberdeen. Sarah is the expert ( and yes she is the gorgeous mum from my frumpy post, check it out here) She will tell you exactly what you need as soon as she sees your hair.

I was a little hesitant at first as I have heard all of the horror stories and the last thing I want is to go bald just before my wedding. However Sarah was quick to put me at ease by explaining her technique. She uses micro beads with little silicone hooks to attach the extention to your hair. The pros are that is doesn’t do any damage to your hair at all. The con is that if not looked after properly the beads can slide and slip off.

All the hair she uses are 100% human hair and she will colour test your hair before you make your appointment to get them attached. It usually takes 1-2 days for your extensions to arrive and once she has them you are ready to go.

Prices vary depending on what you are looking to achieve and what texture your hair is. As I didn’t need to add a lot of length and just wanted volume and thickness we went for half a head which was 180£. Once you have paid for the hair, then the big cost is done. After that it is just getting them reattached every 10 weeks.

The whole session took just under 2 hours and I am really happy with the results. My hair looks so glamorous I can’t stop staring at it in the mirror! Sarah will supply you with your own special brush and instructions on how to look after your extensions. You must use a silicone and sulphate free shampoo, luckily for me I already do. Check out my post here for more information. My hair is thick and soft to touch and I can now pull off the sleek look.

Now I have no worries for my wedding day!

My hair just after getting it styled by Sarah 3 weeks ago!

My hair now!

What do you think? Have you had extensions before?

xx

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Why I Won’t Give My Son Cow’s Milk

As my son was approaching his 1st year, I could hardly believe how quickly time had past. My little chubby cherub was no longer a baby. He was approaching Toddlerhood. He could eat the big kids snacks. He could get fitted for his first shoes and of course he no longer needed breastmilk or formula. I was so excited to start this new journey. However when our health visitor strongly advised that we continue to give him 2 of bottles of full fat cows milk a day. My stomach turned. I didn’t want to give him cow’s milk and here is why

I am usually one to follow the advice of a health professional but this advice did not sit well with me. I hate cow’s milk. No scrap that. I absolutely love it, I could drink glass after glass when I was younger. Don’t even mention the word cheese to me. Having lived in France for 8 years cheese had become a part of my existence. No I love the taste of cows milk and all things made from cows milk, but its affects on the body, I hate.

Strong bones…or not

More and more health professionals are now advising against cow’s milk but why? With more research being conducted on the subject, new information about the real benefits of dairy have come to light. Previously praised for its bone enhancing abilities. Scientists now claim that it actually does the opposite. Countries with the lowest dairy consumption are those with the lowest rates of osteoporosis. How can this be? If dairy is full of bone fortifying calcium and minerals then how is it that the countries that consume the biggest amount of dairy and milk products have the highest rate of osteoporosis and lactose intolerance?

A study done on women in Sweden found that those who consumed more than 3 glasses of milk a day doubled their mortality rate.  The thing is that cows milk does contain a lot of calcium and vitamins. However our fragile little human digestive systems are just not able to process it like calves can. And that is where the problem lies. Cows milk is made for calves who have four digestive compartments in their stomachs. When humans drink it, it puts a massive strain on our digestive system. Causing inflammation which can lead to asthma, allergies and digestive issues such as IBS and even autoimmune diseases.

Better For Your Gut Without It

So why am I against dairy? As much as I love cheese, cream and yogurt, I have experienced a change in my health and digestion when I decided to cut it out. Once I stopped dairy my usually slow digestive system improved and general state of health felt a lot better because of it. My brothers who have suffered from severe eczema their whole lives have experienced significant improvements since cutting dairy. With them now being able to reduce their use of steroid creams and treatments.

So what do I do?

Considering all of the above, the idea of feeding my son 2 bottles of cows milk a day leaves a pit in my stomach. Could I be opening him up to digestive issues and allergies by giving him cows milk? If he no longer needs breastmilk, and I don’t want to feed him cows milk then what do I give him?

There are a lot of milk replacements out there, but which one is better for my son? In my household, we are nut milk drinkers. I drink almond milk and my partner drinks hazelnut. Though these are better than cows milk in my opinion, store bought nut milks are not as nutritious as homemade nut milk. Some brands only have 2% of nuts in their ingredients! Along with another array of ingredients I cannot pronounce. So do we ditch milk all together? Or do i start squeezing almonds to get the purest form of milk possible for my tot?

Got Goat’s Milk

With a bit of research i quickly discovered that Goat’s milk is a healthier alternative to Cow’s. Goats milk is easier to digest. It has less curd and contains less lactose. With fewer allergic proteins in the milk it does not cause as much inflammation in the gut like cows milk does and is full of minerals and vitamins. It also contains a higher amount of probiotics, which feed the good bacteria in your gut thus promoting a healthy digestive system.

My son loves it and while he is still young and growing. I will continue to use goats milk for his digestive system.

What are your thoughts?

 

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Has The Vaccination War Gone Too Far?

These last few weeks have been very challenging for me. I have reached the end of my tether on a few occasions and I am not ashamed to admit it. Being a parent is fucking hard no matter how any one wants to sugar coat it. Yes it is the most rewarding job on the planet but nothing worth anything comes easy, and that includes being a mum. I have to admit I hesitated before I decided to write this post. Why ? Not because I want to appear or pretend to be the perfect women, parent, mother with the perfect angel baby but because I was scared of what others were going to think of me. Having a blog means that I have an opportunity to speak my mind about whatever I feel fit but it also means that people all around the world get a glimpse inside my mind and may not always agree with what I am saying.

Parenting has become a huge topic in the blogging world with all these different approaches to raising our kids. People all over the world have opinions and views on the subject, and it has become an excuse to treat our fellow mummies (and daddies) like shit if they do not agree with your point of view. I am a part of a lot of online mum groups, not because I feel like I am fit to tell people what to do with their lives but because I have absolutely no idea what I am doing. I look for support from fellow mums who have been there before and I am there to support other mums who need advice or just someone to listen and understand the struggle. But recently I have been finding it hard to find support.

You see, Gabriel has been a nightmare the last couple of weeks. Clingy, crying, not sleeping and it all started after he got his jabs. Ahh are you starting to understand? The oh so controversial 1 year MMR and Meningitis jabs. Now I am not very opinionated on this subject, for me what parents decide to do for their own children is their business, I can understand both arguments, however I seem to be a minority. It has become a HUGE and to be honest, scary topic, where parents seem to go bat shit crazy at one another. I understand it, I really do. As parents our primal instinct is to protect our children but I feel this war between passionate pro and anti vaxxers has gone too far.

I, as you can see, vaccinate. My son has had all of his vaccinations and my partner and I are up to date on all of our vaccinations. That is what we have chosen to do but I am not going to lie that I have had my fears, as any mother would. There are so many stories out there about the pros and cons of vaccinations that as parents you have no fricking clue what to believe. You just make a decision and hope that it is the right one. So when my son started showing signs of destress after his jabs, I looked for some information and support and what I got back was astonishing. I in no way was entering the vaccination debate, I knew better and really didn’t want to go there, all I wanted was some reassurance that his symptoms and behaviour were normal and to have some advice on how to make things better for him and for me, however mention the words child vaccinations and you are immediately dragged into a tug of war of accusations and belittling comments.

I was not supporting the anti-vaxxer cause by asking this question, nor was I pushing a pro-vaxxer opinion, I just wanted to see if any other children were suffering as much as my little one. Weeks of crying, tantrums, high fevers and a massive hard lump on his leg had me worried. I couldn’t continue giving him calpol everyday for 3 weeks. What I didn’t want to hear was how I may have given my son autism because I chose to vaccinate, or be branded a stupid anti-vaxxer blaming the vaccine for my child’s illness and thus being the reason illness such as the measles are reappearing. I was just a concerned mum asking how others had reacted, my question was no different to me asking if your baby suffered with reflux when fed.

What neither camps fails to understand is that the motives for both sides are the same. At the end of the day, all parents are scared of making a wrong decision, of something horrible happening to their child. The pro-vaxxers believe that if every child and person is vaccinated then that would keep potentially fatal diseases at bay whereas anti-vaxxers believe that the side effects from these manmade vaccines are the cause of certain diseases and developmental issues in children. Maybe just maybe, instead of letting our fears and emotions get the best of us, try and understand that we are all in the same boat and we all want the same things and hopefully the next unoffending mum can be spared the crossfire.

Check out post on being a frumpy mummy.

xxx

 

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Homemade Ella’s Kitchen Smoothies with Squooshi!

By Posted on 2 3 m read

Anyone who knows me personally knows that my son is a eater! He could be in the worst mood on the face of the planet but hand him a snack or anything edible and he is all of a sudden the happiest chap alive. Always thought the saying was a cliché but the way to this boys heart is definitely through his stomach! But as he is getting older and no longer taking in as much milk as he used to, feeding him has become a challenge. Cooking him homemade meals everyday is a job in itself, but when it comes to puddings and snack time, thats when things get complicated. That was when a sneaky Ella’s Kitchen Smoothie came in.

A pouch full of fruity goodness, when we first discovered them we thought they were a perfect solution to our snack dilemma. However we quickly discovered that our little one loved them way too much and as his appetite increased so did our weekly grocery bill. We would easily get through 3 pouches a day and he was still wanting more. These pouches were a life saver, I could pack them in his bag whenever we would go out and it would be an instant no mess healthy treat. What were we going to do?

That was when I discovered Squooshis!

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These adorable reusable pouches were just what we needed. They are BPA, PVC and phthalate free and also dishwasher and freezer safe. They have a zip lock on the bottom so that you can open up the pouch and spoon in homemade purées and take them on the go with you. The pack includes 8 cute animal pouches with lids, food labels and sippy caps and are really easy to clean. I am in love with them and our son loves the different animal shapes they come in. They are just too cute!

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Now that I had my own pouches it has been easy for me to just stew a few apples and pears and pop them into the pouches, but to mix it up a bit I decided to make my own Ellas kitchen recipes and they go down a treat!

THE WHITE ONE 

(My favourite one)

160g Banana

150g Apples

115g Pineapple

75g Coconut Milk

THE YELLOW ONE

225g Banana

165g Apples

75g Mangoes

3.5g Apricot

THE GREEN ONE

300g Apples

100g Bananas

7g Pears

3g Kiwi Fruit

Choose which smoothie you wish to make. Stew the apples with a little water, once soft and cooked through blend all the ingredients together in the blender. Add a dash of lemon juice and then spoon the contents into the Squooshis! Keep in the fridge or freezer. You can buy these amazing pouches at www.squooshi.com

And there you go! A happy baby and a happy bank account!

xxx

Throw an awesome

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Easy ways to destress when it seems impossible

Stress, something we all have struggled with at one point in our lives. I have always thought of myself as being rather calm and level headed when it came to everyday things but when I became a mother, that went out of the window. I don’t know what it is about motherhood that makes me want to sit in a corner and rock back and forth from sheer mental exhaustion. Maybe it is because of the lack of adult conversation in my everyday life or the fact that my life is now run by a tiny little maniac who is capable of chucking bigger diva tantrums than Mariah Carey! Whatever the reason, me keeping my stress levels at bay is essential for not only myself but for the poor people who have to put up with my bouts of panic and short temper.

But how do you destress when you hardly have time to take a shower let alone scratch your arse without having a screaming child clung to your leg? It is difficult but with a few simple tweeks to your routine it is possible.

MEDITATION

Now before you roll your eyes at me , gimme a second! Meditation does not mean you have to sit with your legs folded and twisted while wearing a white robe and chanting OMMMM. Not at all. It doesn’t mean that you have to turn into some spiritual hippy either, no matter what your beliefs and views are on life, meditation is for everyone. Instead of seeing it as some new age mumbo jumbo look at it as teaching you how to switch off your mind.

Give yourself 5-10 minutes in the morning or just before you go to sleep. Get into a comfortable position and start taking deep breaths through your nose while concentrating on those breaths. You will find that your mind will wonder and start thinking about everything and anything. However you will quickly realise your mind has wondered and will redirect your concentration on to your breathing again. The trick is that you are slowly teaching yourself to control your thoughts and as time goes on you will notice that it becomes easier and easier to turn your mind off. I use the app Headspace just before I go to bed and I have been noticing a difference in my stress and productivity levels during the day. It consists of 10 min meditations for everyday, if you can get past the guys weird accent then thats great! and bonus..it is free!

BUBBLE AND SCRUB

A bath is ideal but lets face it in the world of parenting it just isn’t possible to do every week let alone every month, but a shower can be just as relaxing when done right. When I say shower I mean a real shower. Not the panic shower that I have grown accustomed to taking in the mornings  while my son is banging on the door. A long, take your time shower where you can wash away the stresses of the day and breath in those lovely scents from your shower gels and potions. But when do you have time to take this kind of shower?

For me I had to adjust my routine and take my shower in the evenings. With bubs in bed, dinner had and kitchen cleaned, I have all the time to properly soak up the benefits of a relaxing shower and even manage to exfoliate while I am there! I know what you are going to say, it is difficult to wait until the end of the day to wash, and lets face it when you are still full of lady hormones, night sweats can be a bitch!! That is why I still have a very quick panic shower to wash my skin in the morning if needed, but I save the enjoyable stuff for the evening.

BOOK OR TV SERIES ANYONE?

For me there is nothing I enjoy more than snuggling up with a book or relaxing on the couch to watch one of my favourite tv shows. For me it winds me down and I genuinely feel joy when I am able to do this. However finding the time to do this can be tricky. Let alone letting go of the  guilt that you should be doing something useful!

LET IT GO, relax time is essential and you have a right to take some time for your self to unwind while bubs is sleeping. If you are at the end of your tether then don’t feel bad if you need to sit down and relax a bit. A cup of tea, a biscuit and your favourite TV show for 30 minutes isn’t going to hurt anyone and will do wonders for you.

Voilà here you have it, my favourite ways to unwind and destress when I am about ready to punch someone in the face. These are simple ways that anyone can incorporate into their daily routine and I have found the less stressed I am the more productive I tend to be. A happy mum = a happy baby and husband!

 

xxx

sushimaking-2

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The Most dumbest arguments in the name of sleep deprivation

It is true, relationships can be hard. When you are living with someone who does not think the same way as you or see things the same way as you, it can be a challenge. My partner and I are not yet married even though we have a son ( GASP! We are living in sin!!!) yet we act like an old couple that has been married for decades who are hell bent and annoying each other till the day we die. That is the way we are. We take pleasure in winding each other up and at times it becomes a competition as to who can be the most annoying (I am sure we both have different opinions over who is winning that one!) Despite this being a fun quirk of our relationship there are times when we seriously butt heads over the most mundane things, that if aliens were ever studying us to determine whether man kind deserved to live, we would have no chance!

With my partner working offshore, our wedding only a few months away and a little terror to look after I can say that the fun and games are not always so fun, especially when you are sleep deprived and stressed. So we can end up arguing over the most stupid things on the face of the planet, and when I say stupid I mean STUPID.  I can’t help but wonder how it is actually possible. It is hard to believe that we are adults, let alone parents at times.

But every relationship has its quirks and while we tend to get wound up over silly things, I can be thankful it IS just silly things. So while I try to focus and keeping a peaceful mind, no matter how hard that can be, I thought I would share with you some of the most stupid things we have gotten wound up about in the recents months.

Stupid Argument Topic 1: Tortillas

Yes you read that right , Tortillas!  As in the flat bread that you make burritos or fajitas in. Yup! We had a stupid argument over a tortilla, or more so to do with the filling of the tortilla. My partner seems to take eating fajitas as a challenge, the more filling he can get into it the better. Sometimes he can’t even close the tortilla to eat it due the Mount Everest size of the filling he has stacked on it. I just don’t get it and he doesn’t understand why this bothers me so much. It is true, I should probably just let him eat his tortilla the way he wants to….. But. I . Just. Can’t!!!! How the hell is he going to fit it in his mouth ? Not to mention he has used the equivalent of 5 tortillas worth of filling into one. … Sigh! Yep sorry man kind, I think we are doomed!

Stupid Argument Topic 2: Knickers and the laundry

Hmm this one is… well peculiar. This is one of my partners pet peeves about me but it is something I really can’t see myself changing. You see, when I undress and put my trousers in the wash basket I tend to do everything in a oner. Meaning I take my trousers and knickers off at the same time. I know! Such a crime! Me doing this however usually results in my underwear being trapped  within my trousers and me usually having fish my panties out from the leg of my trousers after they have been washed. I know it can be annoying but it doesn’t really bother anyone else but me however it infuriates my partner. He just doesn’t understand why I don’t take the time to separate the garments and I just don’t see why I would waste a few more seconds to take off my trousers and underwear separately when I can WHAM do it all in a microsecond. I know, I am lazy! What can I say? Please don’t tell me I am the only one that does this? ……anyone?

Stupid Argument Topic 3: Making the bed

This is my partner ‘making the bed’…

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This is the bed actually made…

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Enough said, yeah?

Stupid Argument Topic 4: To Do Lists

We both have very different ways of functioning, men are from mars and women are from venus what ever you want to call it, we just do not think in the same way.  So when it comes to organisation and to do lists, there is a big clash. I write my to do list in order of importance, so for booking the caterer, I would class that as something we need to do before we pick the flowers so caterer would be at the top of my list however my partner disagrees. He prefers to list in chronological order of events, so the ceremony takes place before the reception hence the flowers need to be at the top of the list. We just don’t understand each others logic and have had many a heated conversation over this! Really who cares right? As long as it gets done???

Stupid Argument Topic 5: Fart

YES I am serious, a fart! We have argued I don’t know how many times over a fart, or many farts to be accurate.  I know how this sounds. I get it, farts are funny and I am usually the first person to laugh at a fart joke but after 6 years of farts in my face it just isn’t funny anymore. When you need to leave a bar because your partner has stunk it out or when you are almost kicked out of a french taxi on the middle of the highway, it starts to grow old realfast. So after a long day when I finally get bubs to bed and sit on the couch I do not want to be greeted with a fart! I am serious!

Relationships are hard in general but add parenting in to the mix and sleep deprivation it can put a challenge on the most stable of couples. With our nuptials approaching I am going to try and stop sweating the small stuff and maybe let him pile on the filling into his tortilla…

xx

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Gluten free homemade pizzas

So I have been a little behind on my blog posts lately, things have been hectic. With me recovering from surgery, planning our wedding and organising Gabriel’s 1st birthday, it has been manic! With my to do list getting bigger and bigger I have found it easy to fall off the healthy eating wagon and grab anything and everything I can get my hands on. Hungry and unorganised Kylie = eating junk and getting fatter Kylie. Not good for my wedding dress! But sometimes it is hard to eat what you should. I am a lover of comfort food and eating salad especially on a cold Aberdeen day just is not going to happen. So that is why I decided to make my own ‘Healthy’ pizzas. It was a quick and relatively healthy option that I could also feed to my husband to be.

Here is what you will need

Ingredients

  • Warburtons Gluten Free wraps
  • Italian cherry tomato paste with basil
  • Mature Cheddar Cheese or Feta Cheese if you are looking for a healthier option
  • Fresh Tomatoes
  • Baby Spinach
  • Pepper
  • Meat of your choice : We chose chorizo slices and ham for our little one
  • You can add what ever you like, but I find if you put too many toppings it becomes over crowded and not as tasty.

Method

Preheat your oven or grill to 200°C. Open the pack of wraps, these are one of the best gluten free wraps out there and really makes a delicious, thin, crispy pizza base. Evenly spread the cherry tomato paste over one side.

Once that is done, start putting your toppings on. I started with Chorizo slices, Tomato, Pepper, Spinach and then cheese.

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Bake in the oven until crispy and the cheese is melted. And viola! A quick and tasty lunch.

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Hope you enjoy them as much as we did!

xxx

 

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Learning to let go and let dad SHINE!

As I continue to recover from my recent surgery, I have realised in the last week how important my partners role is for our sons development. Of course, I have always known that my son needs his daddy but when your partner works offshore and you are the one running the household, often alone raising your child it is easy to forget. My partner has always been a great hands on dad, but when it came to the nitty gritty of caring for our son,  I have always been the decision maker. Everything is run by me, his routine, his meals, his sleep times, his feeding times, you name it, I have it down pat!

But with my recent Endo crisis, my partner was forced to take charge while I was in hospital, meaning that he would spend his first time alone with his son since he was born, almost a year ago. Wondering how he will handle having to get up all night for our son who still doesn’t sleep through the night,  I felt anxious for my boy. He wasn’t used to being way from me, how would he react? Unfortunately for my partner, the day that I had been admitted to hospital was also the day that Gabriel developed a high fever and was diagnosed with tonsillitis. Our baby was at his worst and with me not there to calm the situation my partner had to do his best to soothe our son on his own.

dad

Anxious to get home and see how my baby was doing, I was taken aback when for the first time ever my son seemed to prefer being in his fathers arms than mine. What was this? Surely he hasn’t forgotten me in 2 days? But as the day progressed, I noticed that Gabriel seemed to be more independent than usual and instead of feeling joy and relieve, I had a ball in my stomach. Does this mean he doesn’t need me anymore?

Have I gone from being his number one to his number two or worse? Months of moaning about how clingy the baby was to me, when he started to show signs of becoming more independent , I hated it. However despite my feelings of rejection, I noticed something that I had never seen before, a calmness and silent understanding between by son and my partner. It was clear that their relationship had stepped up another level, and I could see in Gabriel a confidence he had not had before. They had bonded

Of course, they had bonded before. Gabriel knew who is Daddy was and was always eager to play with him whenever he arrived home from offshore but this was different. It was as if the absence of me had paved the way for them to connect with each other on a deeper level. Without me being there, my partner had had to step up and care for our son in a way he had never done before, showing him that he was not just a fun toy to play with but that he was also a parent, capable of loving and caring for him just like Mummy.

When I arrived back from the hospital I have to admit I struggled. As happy as I was to see this positive change, I found it difficult to let go. As a mother my life is now centred around my darling baby, I carried him, breastfed him, wake up every night for him, do everything for him. I didnt want to step back, I didn’t want to be put aside.

After a few days with me back in the house and slowly getting back into routine things seemed to adjust between us. Going to pick Gabriel up from nursery I wondered if his usual reaction when he saw us would be different given his new found confidence. As soon as he saw us walk through the door Gabriel cried and made a beeline to me, covering me in baby kisses and cuddles, just like he always does. I felt elated and special again! But as I tried to pass him over to say hello to his father, Gabriel refused to go or even acknowledge him and I felt a sadness for my partner. His dad was yet again non existent and for the first time I felt and understood the pain it must cause my partner.

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All those times when Gabriel clearly preferred me to his daddy, how he would only sleep after having one last cuddle with mummy, how when he was unwell or out of sorts he would come straight to me for comfort, all those times I took for granted unaware of how painful it can be to be parent number 2, I thought it was normal, I am his mother after all. But as I look over the last few days I can’t help but ask myself if I had unknowingly hindered my partners and my sons relationship. I have always been there, in the background ready to sweep in when necessary, never really giving my partner an opportunity to take hold of the parenting wheel.

As mothers we often resent the pressure to be super mum without realising the perks that come with being the ‘go to’ parent. It is easy to get caught up in our selves and our own needs, especially when you are tired from being with your child all day and night but we need to step back and learn to let go.

After these last days I have seen how important it is for me to let go and let my partner take over once and awhile. Not only for him, but also for our son who has learned to see his dad as a parent. I know as a mother that it is hard to let go, we grew them in our bellies, birthed them, fed them, loved them, that bond can never break but we also need to step aside to allow our partners to feel that special connection we have with our children once in a while.

So go out tonight Mummies, take some time to yourself, or organise a weekend away amongst the girls, it will truly benefit all three of you.

xxx

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The Ups and Downs of my baby’s first day of nursery

So the day had finally arrived, the day I had been craving for so long, the day my little boy spent his first whole day in nursery. Coming up to the event, I could not wait. Almost a year with him constantly stuck to me like a little gumball, there was finally a little light at the end of the tunnel. I was going to have a day of peace every week. A day where I could take a long hot shower, a day I could finally read a book, a day where I could actually go to the toilet without having him banging on the door or worse clinging to my legs. Ew!

So as I woke up in the morning, listing all the productive things I was going to do that day, I couldn’t help but feel a tiny ball in my stomach. Was it the anticipation? The pent up excitement over my first day alone in almost a year? Or was it something else?

Getting myself and Gabriel ready that morning I couldn’t help but feel sad for my poor little pet gremlin. He had no idea that he was to spend the whole day at nursery without me. Would he miss me? Would he give trouble when he was dropped off or would he too, be happy to get some space? Yessss I can finally play instead of having her stop me from licking my snot and rubbing it on the couches . I am such an asshole parent.

cwot3441Gabriels first drawing: I don’t think he is going to be the next Picasso….

But when we arrived at the nursery, I shouldn’t have worried because as I went to kiss my son goodbye and wish him a good day he completely pied me! and when I say pied, I mean PIED. He wouldn’t even look at me because he was so excited to play with the other kids, and as I went in to kiss him I was greeted with his hand smacking my kiss away as he turned his back to me. Ouch! I guess he wasn’t going to miss me.

On the way home, I could feel that tiny ball in my stomach growing bigger until I found myself choking the tears away. What is wrong with you?? You are finally FREE! I thought, except I wasn’t. Even though it was great having my long awaited hot shower and having a bit of time to get things done, I couldn’t help but watch the clock. After a year of moaning how I needed time to myself, when I finally got it I found myself missing my little boy. The realisation that this was the beginning of his independence from me brought me to tears. He now has a life that I don’t know about or am apart of. Something I will need to get used to as he gets older.

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Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

As the time went by I was eager to pick him up and see how his day had been and wondered if he had missed me? Peaking through the window, I saw him sitting with one of the nursery staff reading a book and couldn’t help but feel a little pang of disappointment at seeing no sign of distress. Taking it as meaning he had enjoyed our day apart, more than I had.

But as we walked in and found out how his day had been, to my surprise I was greeted with a huge emotional hug and covered in a million baby kisses. After all my anticipation for my first day alone, that moment turned out to be the best part of my day.

Cherish each and every moment you have with your little ones. The good, the bad and the ugly. You may wish for more ‘you’ time and reminisce about the amazing life you had pre kids but in the end you will miss the times they wake you up in the middle of the night just for a cuddle. I learned that instead of wishing this time away, enjoy it as it will not last very long.

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