I am sure that a few of you have noticed the unscheduled absence on my blog and social media posts of late. Though I had been talking about new exciting projects, life had other plans for me. If you follow me on Instagram you would have found out why during the Christmas period. For those who don’t follow me (and seriously why aren’t you following me??) then ……..Ta da, I am pregnant and expecting our second born in May 2019.
Not As Blissful As I Had Hoped
Although now I am stable and happy with the progress of our little bean. I will admit that the start was a nightmare. I wish I could pretend to be like all those stylish beautiful mamas to be on instagram. Telling you about how #Blessed I am and how it is such a miracle. All while posing in gorgeous figure hugging dresses and high heels. But the reality for me was that I felt and looked like death for the first 4 months. Not only had i never experienced exhaustion to the point of not being able to lift myself off the couch. But my own body was literally starving me to death. Unfortunately I was one of the lucky few that was diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum.
If you followed my journey from my first pregnancy. Then you would know I suffered a similar fate with my first born. 6 months of nausea, extreme sensitivity to smells and vomiting at the time, felt like the worse thing in the world. It never occurred to me that it could be worse. To be fair a part of me is unsure if my sickness was actually worse. Or if it was made to feel worse because this time around I had a toddler to care for. I couldn’t sit and binge watch Netflix while snacking on crisps all day and napping when I needed to. All I know is that it was torture, and was one of the first times I let go of my pride and called my husband offshore to plead for help as I couldn’t cope.
More Than Morning Sickness
This time around I got to really understand how horrible this syndrome is and can be. I literally felt like my body was starving me. Everything I consumed was thrown up minutes later and the feeling of dehydration and being so thirsty was the worst I have ever experienced. I wanted water so badly but just could not keep it down. It got to the point where I woke with blood on my pillow as my lips were so chapped the skin was ripping and bleeding. Despite my stomach getting bigger the number on the scales decreased and I finally let go of my anti medication stance and went to the doctors.
While searching the internet for any bit of advice I realised just how bad it can be for some women. With some of them being starved so badly they go into organ failure and some have to eventually terminate their pregnancies. Reading some of the stories I felt somewhat blessed to not be as bad as others which helped perk me up and be grateful.
What broke my heart the most was my poor wee baby Gabriel. He began to understand very quickly that something was wrong and that I was not well enough to play and entertain him as usual. He would come and check on me, see my throwing up and would then go and play by himself for long periods of time, giving me no trouble at all.
I Am Now 22 Weeks Pregnant
Now I am 22 weeks and I thank god that it has subsided. I actually feel normal while being pregnant. Something I never thought I would experience, and can now enjoy the journey with my husband and little boy. We have decided to keep the sex a surprise for the big day and I look forward to getting back into my blog and sharing this journey with you.
Thank you to all of you who reached out and asked where I was during this time. It really meant a lot!