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30 Weeks Pregnant & My Fears of Life With Two

By Posted on 9 3 m read

Eek I cannot believe I am 30 weeks pregnant already. This time around seems to have flown by and before we know it we will be a family of four! I have not really been updating a lot about my pregnancy mostly because there hasn’t been much to report. Unlike my previous pregnancy with Gabriel, I feel completely normal and must confess that if it wasn’t for my massive bump. I would forget I was even pregnant. With that said now that we are a handful of weeks away until he or she will arrive. The  excitement and fear of the unknown is rearing its head and I can’t help but ask myself. How am I going to manage? 30 Weeks Pregnant & My Fears of Life With Two

The Guilt

As the time gets closer, I have started to feel a sense of guilt when I look at my little boy. I am not as energetic or as patient as I would like to be. And to be frank I just don’t want to be on the floor all day playing trains. So lately Gabriel has had to learn to play more independently and give me some peace. Which though i feel is a necessary step, makes me feel rather guilty. He is at an age where he wants my undivided attention. He wants to play non stop and vocalises his desires throughout the day. No matter how annoying it is. So I ask myself how am I going to split my time with two? How am I going to make sure that he does not feel neglected or replaced? While still tending to the needs of our newborn?

The Threenager and The Newborn

Gabriel has just recently turned 3 and WOW what an age this is. He is amazing in the sense that he can communicate very well and generally makes us laugh from the cute and cheeky little things he says. The downside? Is that he now argues back? Say what?

Everything now is a battle of wits and he is now asserting his own personality and independence. It is great that he is growing and learning how to be himself. It is not so great that he refuses to do even the most simple things. I fear how I will handle this while my husband is offshore AND I am feeding a newborn! As I am already at my wits end with his new found adolescent attitude. With lack of sleep and breastfeeding I just hope I do not snap.

No More Freedom?

Does this mean the end of our freedom and babysitting options? Babysitting one child is one thing, but looking after two is another? With all of my family in Australia and half of Lee’s in Harlow and Glasgow. I fear that our days as just a couple are over and that we may struggle to have those ever needed date nights. Or god forbid…a weekend away? So how do we make sure our marriage doesn’t take the hit? How do we still make sure to tend to each others needs?

Keeping Kylie

So the questions about managing time between my two children as well as my husband were on the top of my anxiety list. But then I though what about time for myself? Will I have the time to work out and get back into shape after baby number two? Will I still be able to juggle studying full time while keeping house and looking after the kids? How do I make sure that I do not lose myself and sabotage my mental health in the process?

All of these questions have been entering my mind. And though I know everything will be ok (after all people do it all the time all over the world). I cannot help but wonder. I guess time will tell and all I can do is try to prepare myself and my little family as much as possible. I am going to have to as organised as ever to make sure nothing/ no-one is neglected.  It is such a strange thing to feel completely excited about something and yet terrified at the same time. Bring on May! We have a hell of a year ahead of us!

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Why you need to have a Baby Shower!

 

Baby showers. This new social event that seems to have made its way to the UK, is increasingly popular amongst new mums to be. The first time I had ever heard of one was when I was watching some american movie. There was a beach ball sized, radiant pregnant woman bouncing around with excitement. Must be an american thing, I thought while changing the channel.

However as I have approached the baby making stage in life. I have seen more and more friends and family adopt this concept. I always looked at it as a good excuse to get presents and have a girly afternoon together. However it wasn’t until I experienced my own surprise baby shower last week that I realised it is so much more.

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As a new mum to be, it is easy to get caught up in your own thoughts and fears about this new stage of life. You can easily feel overwhelmed and isolate yourself. Especially someone like me. Being independent is generally a good thing but there are times when this characteristic tends to take over me, and reaching out to others for advice is somewhat alien.

We are programmed to think that motherhood is instinctual and that we should just know what we are doing. As they say, millions of women are doing this everyday right? But do we really know what we are doing?

As the concept is still quite new in Europe, I know a lot of people who still do not understand  the meaning behind it. They see it as an american excuse to have a party and receive presents. It may be for some, but for me it was deeper than that.  It is the concept of having women from both sides of the family, different generations, sisters and sister in laws. Friends who are already mothers and friends who have yet to experience it come together to support you during this life changing moment. To share their experiences and advice, and to remind you that you are not alone.

Why you need to have a Baby Shower

You may have the most supportive husband in the world, but sadly in the end no man can ever understand or appreciate completely the changes your body and emotions go through like another women can. It is natures way of connecting us and bringing us all together, so if you have a wife, friend, sister, cousin or anyone who is expecting. Please know that no matter how strong and independent they may be, whether it is their first, second or third child. We all need that support from our fellow sisters, and a baby shower is a fantastic way to make the expecting mum feel supported.

xxx

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Preparing For Parenthood : The Fear of The First Time Mum

As my due date approaches, it has suddenly dawned on me that I am completely unprepared for the drastic turn my life is about to take. Not only have I not packed my hospital bag, I have not bought any baby clothes, nursing bras or any other baby / mum to be essentials that I will desperately need in the coming future and the nursery is far from ready.

In an attempt to get organised, I set out to buy all these ‘essentials’ and ended up scaring my self more than anything. Buying little boots, hats and rattles was somewhat weird and fun at the same time, but stepping into boots to see the array of mum to be hospital toiletries made my blood curdle. Seeing a vast selection of vaginal massage oils for rips and tears is enough to make anyone run screaming, which was exactly what I did. Knowing I will eventually have to buy all of these things, I sit here and realise that even though I am fully aware that I am pregnant, that my belly has become a huge beach ball which feels like it is going to explode at any moment; it has not completely sunk in that in 5 weeks I will have a baby.

Preparing For Parenthood

I am 29 years old but feel exactly the same as I did when I was 16. I still laugh at fart jokes for goodness sake! As a kid I believed that once you became an adult it was this major shift in perspective and outlook; that you just miraculously grew up and understood everything. Little did I know is that you are exactly the same, may have experienced more things and become a bit more mature but you are the same nonetheless, just in a body that is older, doing things that adults do.

Bringing someone else into this world is exciting and scary at the same time. To know that you are making a mini you with the person you love is extraordinary, but knowing that you need to bring the person up to be a good, respectful human being without actually knowing what you are doing is terrifying. All I can hope it is that I will grow and learn along the way and to be the best mum and wife I can be, to take my life experiences and teachings from my past and peers and continue to be the type of person I want to be….a confident mum.

xxx

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