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Here is all of my posts aimed at helping you make life easier and tackle everyday life challenges as a Mother, Daughter, Wife and Human Being. It is basically the “Lifestyle” section of the blog.

My Battle With My Mummy Tummy & Body Image

As women I think we all have bad days when we don’t like what we see in the mirror. There are days when you feel good and are oozing confidence and then there are days when…well you are not. I seem to be having the NOT oozing confidence day every day now. I’m a lot heavier than I would like to be and I just don’t feel good in my body. I look and feel like a completely different person than I did 3 years ago and it makes me feel like I am completely losing myself. My battle with my mummy tummy is consuming me and it is affecting my life and happiness.

Belly Donut

The day I realised I could grab the fat from my belly and make a belly donut was both a depressing yet strangely amusing day. Grabbing my belly donut has become a daily ritual. It is now my own built in stress ball. I cannot seem to walk past a mirror without doing it and it makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. Talk about losing your identity. What is worse is that my mind still hasn’t really caught up with the idea that I am no longer a size 6/8. It still pictures itself as the Pre-gabriel confident and thin Kylie. Then gets shocked when it sees a picture of my arms side on and how they seem to engulf and eat my whole body. Wtf? I can picture and plan out outfits that i am convinced will make me look like a bombshell only to put it on and look like a walking potato.  Who am I?

Homebakes and Belly Shakes

It doesn’t help that since having Gabriel I have developed an unhealthy attachment to sugar & food. That my desire to be the modern day Martha Stewart has got me baking every week. Then stuffing my face with said bakes. Being an at home mum means that I have access to food at all times and the stress of daily battles with a toddler, while studying makes me want to eat the whole pantry. People come up to me and they don’t get it. They say “oh you are not fat, You look great” and I cant help but sigh. Yes i may not be rolling when walking but you have not seen me in my underwear. Plus I am sure that they HAVE noticed that I am 10kgs heavier and that they are just too polite to say otherwise or they are in the same boat and feel secretly relieved that they are not the only one. (don’t worry, I get it)

#BellyDonut?

So what do I do? Do I accept that this is my fate, that I gave birth (2 years ago), that I am getting older and this is part of the territory? That curvy is “in” right now and I should make the #BellyDonut Movement to encourage everyone to embrace their bodies no matter what it looks (or feels) like? Or do I get up and throw belly donut into boot camp. Tell him he is no longer welcome and get myself back to a place where I feel happy in my body? Where the picture of my self in my mind is actually aligned with reality?

Though I do believe that we should love our bodies the way they are. I also believe you should look after them and do what it takes to feel confident.  For me it is an on going battle. It’s not just about weight and the number on the scale, nor it is about trying to meet societal expectations that women face these days. It is about feeling good in your body and skin, about feeling good about being you. It is easy to make excuses. Lets face it motherhood is hard especially when you are working or studying as well as raising kids and keeping house. However we can’t lose ourselves and who we are because of the kids. We should set an example for our kids that looking after ourselves is essential to living a happy and fulfilling life and also for everyone around us.

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How To Make Overnight Oats

By Posted on 14 2 m read

I have been obsessed with creating new healthy breakfasts lately. If you follow me on Instagram then you would have seen a few of the photos. I have always been an advocate for a green smoothie in the mornings. However lately I have been needing something more substantial to curb my hunger. Poached eggs on toast started to become the norm for me, but since I am trying to improve my digestion and lose weight. I felt that this was not a great choice. It left me feeling a bit heavy and stodgy. So I set out to find some fresh and healthy breakfast ideas that would fill me up until lunch time, yet not feel so heavy in the morning. That was when I came across overnight oats.

 

Overnight oats have been a popular trend on Pinterest, and when you see all the different variations and beautiful pictures. It is hard not to understand why. They are quick and easy to make, yet packed full of fibre and nutrients ( depending on what you put in it). Even though there are heaps of variations the base ingredients are rolled oats and milk.

So I thought I would share with you all the recipe that I have been using that is packed full of superfoods and tastes delicious!

Overnight oats

OVERNIGHT OATS

Ingredients

1/2 cup of Rolled Oats

3/4 Cup of Milk (I use Almond Milk )

1 tsp of Cinnamon

1 tsp of Chia seeds

1/2 Banana

Handful of Strawberries

Handful of Blueberries

Drizzle of honey.

NOTE: The amount of milk you use depends on how you like your oats. Some people prefer them thicker while others like them a bit watery. I do not like my oats too thick so 3/4 of a cup of milk is good for me. However if you prefer a thicker consistency try using only 1/2 a cup.

Method 

Mix the Oats, Milk, Cinnamon and Chia seeds together in a bowl until combined. Tip the mixture into a small air tight container and pop it in the fridge. Leave it overnight for at least 10 hours so that the oats and chia seeds absorb the milk.

When you are ready to eat, cut up the banana and strawberries. Add the fruit to the oats and drizzle with some honey. Overnight oats are best served chilled.

Some people like to add a nut butter to the oat mixture before chilling in the fridge, however I find this to make them a little too rich for my liking.

Please note that the chia seeds and cinnamon are optional. If these are not your cup of tea then please omit them. However I add them for the additional nutritional punch, plus the chia seeds add a bit of sweetness.

Overnight oats

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Is It Ever Ok To Tell Off Someone Else’s Child?

After a series of events and discussions I have had with other mums this week. It got me thinking. Is it ok to tell off someone else’s child?

I was at our weekly toddler group the other day where I was confronted with a situation that made me feel conflicted. My son was playing with one of his play mates whom he knows fairly well. I was sitting nearby when all of a sudden Gabriel started screaming. This was not a usual scream. I rushed over to see what had happened and found my child sobbing and holding his arm. He had been bitten.

I didn’t know what to do, I had never been confronted with this situation before. I’d dealt with the usual pushing and shoving from other kids ( and from Gabriel). But biting? My usual reaction would be to fob it off and comfort Gabriel until he had calmed down. However this was different. It was physical and I didn’t want Gabriel thinking that biting was an acceptable way to express himself. How do you teach your child that a certain behaviour is wrong without telling the other kid off? Or coming across as passive aggressive to the other parent?

There are times when I feel like a hypocrite when discipling Gabriel. He is often scolded for pushing or snatching from another child. However when another kid does it to him he often looks at me as if to say ‘ Why aren’t you scolding them too’? He is too young to understand the explanation.

So after a long conversation with my fellow mums. I have collected some tips on what is the most acceptable practises when faced with a playground dilemma.

Speak to the parent first

Most parents agree that they prefer you to come and speak to them first before speaking to their child. To be completely honest I get that. It is a natural reaction to stand up for your little ones. That said it should be within reason. There is often times when another kid will snatch a toy from Gabriel or visa versa. And I find myself asking the child if we can share the toys and not snatch. In the same way I would not be bothered at all if another parent said the same to Gabriel.

Know the circumstances

This is a big one. I think too many parents are quick to judge without knowing the circumstances. A prime example is from a friend of mine. Her child looks a lot older than he actually is. While playing at a playgroup amongst some older children he struggled with sharing and had a few temper tantrums. His behaviour was quickly judged by other parents. They had assumed he was a lot older than he was. Had the have known his age they would have realised that his behaviour was very normal for his actual age. Same goes for children who may have certain disabilities that cannot be seen, such as Autism or Aspergers. Know the facts before you jump in and find yourself in a difficult situation.

Remove your child from the situation

The easiest thing to do when a playground battle starts is to remove your child from the situation and explain or discipline them in private. This is my go to move and I find it effective and respectful to other parents and their children.

In the case of the biting incident, my only concern was that I didn’t want Gabriel to start biting other children because he was bitten. In no way was i angry or judgemental. I knew that the other child had learnt this behaviour because he had been bitten himself on numerous occasions. It is a learning process and I try to remember that kids will be kids. It is inevitable that there will be power struggles and upsets as they try to figure out their emotions and stance in this big world. Remember that we are all parents in the same boat.

Looking for more posts?  Check out my post on what it is really like living with a 2 year old

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How To Boost Confidence When You Feel Like A Failure

I always believed that self esteem issues were a phase of adolescence. A phase of finding yourself as you grow from a child to an adult. However looking at myself now at the age of 31 I feel that I still struggle with feelings of inadequacy like I did when I was a teenager. I have always struggled with my self-esteem. The fear of not being good enough, of not fitting in. Being too scared to take that first step forward for the fear of failure or ridicule. Though I have grown and learnt lot through the years, there is always a step in life that makes me question myself. That can shatter all the hard work I have done in one single sweep. But I have found that i can always get back up again by addressing a few simple things. Below I share my strategies on How To Boost Confidence When You Feel Like A Failure.

 

Boost Confidence

 

Stop comparing yourself to others

 

Comparing yourself to others is the root cause of low self-esteem and confidence issues, and yet we all  do it. In this day where Instagram has created a widespread epidemic of FOMO it is hard not to get caught up in it. If everyone lived the exact same lives and looked exactly the same way then I doubt inadequacy issues would exist . But how boring would life be? There would be nothing to dream about or to strive for.

As easy as it is to compare yourself to Jenny down the block, try to remember that even Jenny has her imperfections and is probably comparing herself to someone else too. Instead of beating yourself up because someone seems to have a better life / boy / job than you. Change your mindset and channel those feelings into something more positive. Use someone else’s success to inspire and motivate you to create your own.

 

Stock up on your fruit and veg

 

As daft as this sounds this is a huge one! Have you ever gone on a junk food eating spree and then come back feeling the worst about yourself. You feel unhealthy, fat and ugly all because you fed your body food you knew you probably shouldn’t have. However when you eat super healthy the opposite happens. You feel motivated, full of energy and better in your skin.

That is because your body needs a whole array of vitamins and minerals to function and when it is deficit it can play a major role on your mood and mental health. So imagine how you would feel if you ate junk all the time. Not to mention that your appearance will start to show signs of wear and tear if you are lacking in nutrients for a long period of time. Your skin is the first to suffer if you are not getting the right hydration or vitamins. So get those blenders out and start packing in the greens.

 

Boost Confidence

Look After Your Appearance

 

Being well groomed and dressed play a huge part in your confidence levels. It is amazing what a good blow out and outfit can do! I have found that the days where I couldn’t be bothered to look after my appearance were often days where I felt the worst about myself. I am sure you all know that feeling when you get a new outfit and you wear it out for the first time. You always feel amazing because you feel good about how you look. Take a look at all of the women who exuberate confidence. They all take a lot of pride in their appearance. And for good reason.

I am not saying that you need to dress up to the nines with a thick face of make up everyday. Or that you need to constantly splash the cash on new outfits. However taking little steps to make yourself feel pretty everyday will help you to feel more confident and sure of yourself. Check out my post on my easy no makeup makeup look if you are looking for some inspiration.

 

Let go of the Negative

 

I am a perfectionist at heart and I often put unnecessary pressure on myself to be the most perfect housekeeper, mother, wife, everything on the planet. But these expectations often lead to me ripping myself to shreds when i struggle to achieve them. Your inner voice is a powerful one. It is the voice you hear the most often and so it is important to keep it in check. When the negative thoughts start to flood in, don’t allow them to fool you into believing they are right. Instead fob them off. I learnt some great ways to quieten my mind during my struggles as a teen. Check my post here for more details.

Good ways to boost positive thinking is to practice affirmations and keep a vision board. I love a vision board as it keeps me focussed and motivated on the things I want to achieve instead of dwelling on the things I don’t have. Encourage yourself to think more positively about your life and yourself as a person. You will be surprised at how lucky you actually are when you pay attention.

Secondly sometimes we have people in our lives who truly do not bring the best out of us. If you are surrounded my people who feed your negativity then it may be time to ask if you really need these people in your life. Surrounding yourself with positive like minded people is better for your progress and mental health.

 

We all have momentary lapses of confidence in ourselves from time to time. I hope these tactics can help you in the future to work your way to being the confident person you want to be. It is a work in progress. No one is 100% confident in themselves in all aspects of their lives. Just know that small progress is better than none.

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4 Ways You Are Self Sabotaging And How To Stop It

We all want to be successful in life. Whether it be that you want to get your dream body, obtain your dream career or succeed in relationships. Success is the ultimate goal for most people. Yet even though we may dream of it and feel passionately about it there is often a subconscious drive within us to self sabotage ourselves. We want that fit body yet we stuff ourselves with junk. We want that dream career but we don’t put in the work that is needed. Which puts up unnecessary obstacles to our success. So why are we self-sabotaging? I decided to delve deeper and look at the ins and out of self sabotage and the ways in which we can shake it. Are you self-sabotaging yourself?

 

Are you self-sabotaging yourself?

1. Put the phone down

As I write this blog post I can see at the corner of my eye my phone lighting up with notifications. And no matter how hard I try I feel my concentration fading and my urge to look at my phone take hold of me. I bet this sounds familiar? As wonderful and useful the smart phone innovation has been it has turned us all into phone addicts desperate for our next hit. Try to limit your time on your phone as hard as it sounds, and turn it on airplane mode when you need to do something productive. You will be able to concentrate better and will not be distracted and end up spending your valuable time scrolling the pages of Instagram.! I am turning mine off right now.

2. Staying in your comfort zone

This is one thing that I struggle with as an introvert. Putting myself in uncomfortable situations or situations where i have to …*gasp*…talk to people, can give me real anxiety. However by staying at home all the time and keeping to my comfort zones I will never learn and experiences the things in life I want to experience. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and put yourself in uncomfortable situations. Start by doing little things such as driving down a route you have never done before, or striking up  conversation with a stranger. I used to stress so much about driving our big car around by myself. However it only took me a few practise rounds to be confident in the car.

Are you self-sabotaging yourself?

3. Procrastinating

When I look at all of the entrepreneurs and influencers I admire, they all have one thing in common. They do not procrastinate! They get on with it. Procrastination is the number one cause of failure yet it is probably the hardest habit to fix. It just takes some will power. I find that if I start the day productively then I tend to have a more productive day with less procrastination. Compared to a day where I have a chilled out morning. I have been wanting to lose those extra kilos since having my son for what seems like forever. He is 2 years old. Talk about procrastination!!! So I have now started to get up earlier in the mornings to do my work out before he is awake. Hard? Yes but it has helped me to start the day in a positive way.

4. Not being organised

The biggest issue faced when not being about to achieve your goals is a lack of organisation. Just like anything, to achieve greatness you need a strategy. To have a strategy you need to be organised and have a plan. That includes a plan for your day ahead. When you have no plan for your day then you are more likely to put things off for later and lose track of what needs to be done. I always make a to do list and a time plan so I know how i am going to fit everything into my day. While always still scheduling some me time.

For example, I set aside 2 hours a day for my blog which is usually during Gabriel’s nap. Then 2 hours of study from 7pm to 9pm, with an hour to spare for me to have some free time before I go to bed. This way I decrease my chances of procrastinating during the day and not getting anything done.

Sometimes there are more serious underlying issues that could be the cause for your self-sabotage. These may need to be addressed on a deeper level. Low self esteem and self worth can sometimes be a cause for this. To make any real change the root cause needs to be worked on. Just know that we are all capable of achieving great things, it is all in our mindset.

Check out how learning to live in the present saved me

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Advice To My First Time Parent Self

By Posted on 7 4 m read

Looking back at the first time we brought Gabriel home, I can’t help but giggle at my former self. Both my husband and I really had no idea of what was ahead of us. We would panic at the mere sight of…well anything. We studied the way he breathed, how much he ate and what noises he made. God forbade that anyone use anything other than water and pure cotton on his bum for the next 20 years. And we were obsessed with the temperature in his room. Though these were all part of the new parent experience, I would like to give my former first time parent the heads up with some much needed advice.

 

 

PLAN PLAN AND PLAN

Did I mention plan? As obvious as it sounds it really isn’t. I thought I was quite organised but I never anticipated the amount of time simple things took. Like how impossible it felt to actually be able to leave the house on time. How feeding and nappy changes seemed to never end. Or how difficult it was to actually eat, let alone prepare dinner.

I had made and prepared meals in advance but those meals went by faster than i could blink. I released that I didn’t have anything quick and easy to snack on. And not to mention I went through my entire wardrobe in a matter of a few days! Don’t underestimate how many times this little one will spill his bodily fluids on you. So my tips?

  • Buy loads of cheap comfortable clothes for you to wear. This was the first time I bought from Primark and I was so grateful.
  • Make heaps and I mean heaps of meals in advance. It is a pain now but it will be a life saver in the long run. And don’t forget to stock up on snacks!!
  • Start getting ready 2 hours before you are scheduled to be anywhere. With babies that feed every 1-2 hours, by the time you have started packing all of the baby stuff and are finally ready to head off. The baby will be hungry again and will possibly need another nappy change.

 

 

EMBARRASING MOMENTS

This is a hard one for me as I feel I was really dealt the short end of the stick. Be prepared to lose your dignity as soon as you become a mum, heck as soon as that bun starts cooking. I was sick for the first 6 months of my pregnant and I tell you it was not a pretty sight. Vomiting and crying down the high street is not how I envisioned pregnancy. However do not fear as it does not end after the baby is born. Never in my life could I have imagined the trauma that would happen to me down below. And by down below, I mean all of down belowwww.

It was bad enough that my vagina was unrecognisable and that I winced every time I sat down. It was even worse that i had to figure out the hard way that Kegels are not just the muscles for your vagina but for everything!!!!! Imagine my horror as I head to the bathroom to find that I had semi shat myself without even knowing it! To top it off it was not easy explaining to my husband why I had just thrown my panties in the bin. So advice?? Work them damn Kegels!!!!

 

INTIMACY LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER HAD BEFORE

It is true, you will change and will do just about anything for your baby but some of the things I have had to do are things I never ever thought I would do in my life. Be prepared for the first time your little one catches a cold. Because not only is it worrying and a pain in the butt for sleeping. You also need to help your little one to…erm…unblock his nose. It is fairly simple if you are fully equipped with Vicks Baby Rub and Warm Mist.

However if like me you were not and the only way to help your little one was to suck it out of his nose, then chances are you are just as traumatised by that experience as I am. So avoid the trauma and make a little baby first aid kit with lots of Baby Paracetamol and a tonne of Vicks Baby Rub!

 

ENJOY THE MOMENT

Having said all of this, the biggest and most important advice I would give to myself is to enjoy the moment. Enjoy him as a newborn, a baby and a toddler. Don’t be in haste for him to learn and carry on to the next step. There were times we were so excited for him to progress that we forgot to cherish the step he was in. He would roll, we would say crawl. He would crawl, we would say walk. Until we realised that our little baby had grown up way too fast and we were not prepared for it. It is not a cliché. Cherish them. Hold them. Soak it all in

Check out my post on how we got our baby to love bedtime

Disclaimer : This post is an entry for BritMums #VicksBabyRub Challenge, sponsored by Vicks BabyRub. Specially designed for babies aged six months and over, Vicks BabyRub is available at Boots, Superdrug, Tesco, Asda, Waitrose and all good pharmacy chains. RRP £3.99.
 

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