How To Boost Confidence When You Feel Like A Failure
I always believed that self esteem issues were a phase of adolescence. A phase of finding yourself as you grow from a child to an adult. However looking at myself now at the age of 31 I feel that I still struggle with feelings of inadequacy like I did when I was a teenager. I have always struggled with my self-esteem. The fear of not being good enough, of not fitting in. Being too scared to take that first step forward for the fear of failure or ridicule. Though I have grown and learnt lot through the years, there is always a step in life that makes me question myself. That can shatter all the hard work I have done in one single sweep. But I have found that i can always get back up again by addressing a few simple things. Below I share my strategies on How To Boost Confidence When You Feel Like A Failure.
Stop comparing yourself to others
Comparing yourself to others is the root cause of low self-esteem and confidence issues, and yet we all do it. In this day where Instagram has created a widespread epidemic of FOMO it is hard not to get caught up in it. If everyone lived the exact same lives and looked exactly the same way then I doubt inadequacy issues would exist . But how boring would life be? There would be nothing to dream about or to strive for.
As easy as it is to compare yourself to Jenny down the block, try to remember that even Jenny has her imperfections and is probably comparing herself to someone else too. Instead of beating yourself up because someone seems to have a better life / boy / job than you. Change your mindset and channel those feelings into something more positive. Use someone else’s success to inspire and motivate you to create your own.
Stock up on your fruit and veg
As daft as this sounds this is a huge one! Have you ever gone on a junk food eating spree and then come back feeling the worst about yourself. You feel unhealthy, fat and ugly all because you fed your body food you knew you probably shouldn’t have. However when you eat super healthy the opposite happens. You feel motivated, full of energy and better in your skin.
That is because your body needs a whole array of vitamins and minerals to function and when it is deficit it can play a major role on your mood and mental health. So imagine how you would feel if you ate junk all the time. Not to mention that your appearance will start to show signs of wear and tear if you are lacking in nutrients for a long period of time. Your skin is the first to suffer if you are not getting the right hydration or vitamins. So get those blenders out and start packing in the greens.
Look After Your Appearance
Being well groomed and dressed play a huge part in your confidence levels. It is amazing what a good blow out and outfit can do! I have found that the days where I couldn’t be bothered to look after my appearance were often days where I felt the worst about myself. I am sure you all know that feeling when you get a new outfit and you wear it out for the first time. You always feel amazing because you feel good about how you look. Take a look at all of the women who exuberate confidence. They all take a lot of pride in their appearance. And for good reason.
I am not saying that you need to dress up to the nines with a thick face of make up everyday. Or that you need to constantly splash the cash on new outfits. However taking little steps to make yourself feel pretty everyday will help you to feel more confident and sure of yourself. Check out my post on my easy no makeup makeup look if you are looking for some inspiration.
Let go of the Negative
I am a perfectionist at heart and I often put unnecessary pressure on myself to be the most perfect housekeeper, mother, wife, everything on the planet. But these expectations often lead to me ripping myself to shreds when i struggle to achieve them. Your inner voice is a powerful one. It is the voice you hear the most often and so it is important to keep it in check. When the negative thoughts start to flood in, don’t allow them to fool you into believing they are right. Instead fob them off. I learnt some great ways to quieten my mind during my struggles as a teen. Check my post here for more details.
Good ways to boost positive thinking is to practice affirmations and keep a vision board. I love a vision board as it keeps me focussed and motivated on the things I want to achieve instead of dwelling on the things I don’t have. Encourage yourself to think more positively about your life and yourself as a person. You will be surprised at how lucky you actually are when you pay attention.
Secondly sometimes we have people in our lives who truly do not bring the best out of us. If you are surrounded my people who feed your negativity then it may be time to ask if you really need these people in your life. Surrounding yourself with positive like minded people is better for your progress and mental health.
We all have momentary lapses of confidence in ourselves from time to time. I hope these tactics can help you in the future to work your way to being the confident person you want to be. It is a work in progress. No one is 100% confident in themselves in all aspects of their lives. Just know that small progress is better than none.
These are all so true! It seems small, but I’ve learned that if I eat healthy and my nails are painted, I just feel better about myself!
Yes! Eating healthy really does impact how you feel doesn’t it?
These are all such great tips! I love the part about letting go of the negative because often times perspective really is everything! Thanks so much for sharing this!
Thank you Erin. x
I’m glad you said something about eating healthier. I always feel meh after binging on junk food. I feel so much better after eating real food!
Yes it is amazing how much nutrition makes a difference
couldn’t agree more on your first tip – comparison is the thief of joy – I love this phrase because it’s so true & such a great reminder to not be negative
Yes I know. I must admit I do this but it really is the thief of joy
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This is such a great post. I was listening to the 3 in 30 podcast and something she said is you should ask yourself if you are looking through the filter lens or the big picture lens. When things go bad, get harder, you are feeling bad sometimes we look through the filter lens and think we are having a bad life when really it’s just a bad day or a hard time.
Thank you. Oh I will have to listen to that podcast
I love how motivational this is. You are so right, negativity towards ourselves or towards other people isn’t going to get us anywhere! And fruit/veg are such a simple addition. Thanks xx
Thank you so much
As someone who has been constantly building her self confidence on a daily basis, this tips are great.. I’ve been taking care of myself more and more on the inside and through the years, Ive realized that what’s on the inside is what matters most.. once you have that, it will radiate on the outside.. <3
Thank you. I totally agree with you. I think it is always a work in progress for each stage of life
This is so true! I’m going through one of those ‘bleh’ periods now, this is a great reminder that the little things can help!
So true. We are so hard on ourselves as women, but so forgiving as others. it’s time we put ourselves first!
Thank you so much for being so honest and sharing this with us all, Kylie. It can definitely be difficult to be confident in yourself when life, the media, etc. can get you down.
Such great tips! I truly believe you can transform the way you think & feel about your body by focusing on what foods you are eating. If you eat like crap, you will feel like crap but if you take care of yourself, your body/mood will reap the benefits in more ways than one!
YES! All great tips, as well as daily reminders. It is so important to take care of yourself, eat well and remove the negative from your life. When you stop comparing yourselves to others you live a more balanced life. 🙂
It’s right that we got panicked and negative when something doesn’t happened the way we want but you put together very nicely all the steps to get relaxed in that time.
These are all such good pointers to building self-esteem! Great advice!
I totally agree. Comparing yourself to someone else is a confidence death sentence. No one has the exact same experience. Celebrate your own wins no matter how small!
Good points. I deal with those issues daily, expect for the appearance one… i’m confidently lazy at that 🙂
I needed to read this – thank you for being so honest ❤️
All She Things
I think what works for me is not thinking negative and not comparing myself to others.
What works for me is not thinking about all the negatives and definitely not comparing myself to others. Learning to love what I have has also been a huge help!
I completely agree. Being grateful is a huge factor