How Living In The Present Helped Me To Take Control Of My Life & Be Who I Wanted To Be
I have been feeling overwhelmed lately. It is sure that planning a wedding can be very stressful. Especially when you have the tendency to be a bit of a control freak like myself? So when everything seems to fall on top of you and you feel weighed down. What do you do? How do you cope?
I remember when I was a pre-teen and how emotionally vulnerable I was. Losing my father to suicide at the age of 12 really screwed up my self esteem and the way I could relate to others my age. I was constantly anxious. Dealing with normal teenage fears of fitting in and finding my independence coupled with the complexities of grief. Was all too much for me to handle.
I was headed down a dark road
To cope I lived in a world of escapism. I was a chronic day dreamer. Reality was just too hard to deal with. So for almost 5 years I created a little world in my head. A future me and a future life that was perfect. Being someone that doesn’t like to burden others, this was in my view, my only other option. I didn’t have to talk about what was really happening and in the process I didn’t have to worry my mum and my family.
It worked for a short time, until one day reality hit me smack bang in the face. I had made myself believe that this little world was real. Or at least was going to be real. I realised it was never going to happen and all hell broke lose. For me I was either constantly stuck an imaginary future or I was in ‘reality’ dealing with the past.
I realised quickly that my coping mechanism wasn’t working and that I was heading down a similar path to my dad. Knock on effect. What was I going to do? I had already been taken to see counsellor after counsellor. I had already gone down the medication route and I didn’t want to continue the way I was going. So my only option left was for me to take control of my own life.
The Power of Now
That was when I started my own course of self-development and I came across the book ‘ The Power of Now’ by Eckhart Tolle. A strange and unique look on life but a book that helped to transform me to take hold of my life and be the person I wanted to be.
The Power of Now takes on a buddhist type approaching in say that all worry and fear comes from not living the present moment. When you are constantly thinking and fretting about the past then that is when you live with fear. When you are constantly thinking about the future is when you start to live in worry.
I remember reading it and feeling a little uneasy. It was hard to adjust to what I was so used to. Just when I was about to give up I read a line which said. Do you have a problem right now? I thought Yea, I have bills to pay, I am not what I want to be right now. Blah blah. Then I read again. NO Do you have a problem NOW? At this very instant, at this very second. Look around you and where you are and take in everything. Do you have a problem right now?
Letting go of the constant mind chatter
That was my A’HA moment. No I didn’t. I was sitting in my living room curled up on the sofa comfy and warm. At this very second I didn’t have a problem. It was like a weight lifted from my shoulders and I felt light and fluffy. I felt good.
The book goes on to encourage people not to be consumed by the constant chatter in our minds. Which if you listen carefully is often stuck in the past or in the future. But to stop thinking and emerge yourself in the present moment.
This book literally saved me from having a full on mental breakdown and gave me the courage to take hold of my life and be better than I was. There are always times when I get caught up with life and stress, fear and worry take hold of me. But when it gets tough I ask myself. Do I have a problem right NOW?
If you suffer from anxiety, depression, fear or worry which most of us do. I highly recommend you give this book a chance. Check out my post for Simple and Easy ways to de-Stress.
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I am constantly telling my 5-year-old to live in the moment. She is always talking about what will happen next but forgets to enjoy the now.
I tend to forget to live in the now. I am always thinking of what needs to be done.
I’ve been guilty of not living in the present and letting anxiety get the better of me. I really do try to be very conscious of it now and take time to take in what’s going on around me!
I am totally agree, and really appreciate you share this book I need to read it and pick up some advice too.
No problems, hope it helps
This would be a great book to read. I have been learning how to move on and let things go. The past is gone we can only change tomorrow.
Very true. Another book I recommend is the secret by Rhonda Byrnes
Ill have to check out this book. My mind is constantly running and it interferes with my sleep! Its good to keep a notebook by the bed too to write down ideas and what not. It may help with getting your mind to settle! Xx- Doran @HauteBeautyGuide
Good idea for the notebook. I know that feeling of thinking too much and not being able to sleep
Since having my son I feel like its beginning to be easier to do this, I don’t want him to feel like he constantly has to worry about everything and I think i need to lead by example.
Yes I found becoming a mum helped as well. Children naturally live in the present
The Mad Mommy
I think I live too much in the now and in the past. It makes it hard to think about the future at all. I may need to check out this book though and see what I am doing wrong!
Letting go of the “mind chatter” has always been the most difficult for me personally. My mind can tend to take me to dark places of anxiety and I worry about things that aren’t even a possibility but my brain rationalizes them until I finally give into the nightmare :/
I can relate. I still have a lot of mind chatter until I actively think to myself stop and can worry about things that seem so stupid to others. Meditation can help sometimes too
This sounds like a good book. I haven’t been reading as much as I want to but I’m going to check this one out. I can relate to having anxiety and glad that this book helps you overcome it.
It really helped with my anxiety. It is just a new way of thinking about things. I hope it helps you
I tend to enjoy my NOW moment especially when am with my Amore.. Life with him is important.
Karissa @WithOurBest (@withourbest)
I for sure do. It is a struggle. I have heard of this book. I need to get it on my kindle!
Terri Ramsey Beavers
I wish my daughter would live in the moment. I think maybe I need to purchase the ‘ The Power of Now’ by Eckhart Tolle for her. I’m going to check it out to see if I think it’s something she’d enjoy. She’s so focused on the future, that she forgets now is important too.
It’s so important to live in the now and try to just focus on the things you can control and not obsess over the past.
Centering yourself on the now is a powerful place. You accomplish so much and rid yourself of unnecessary anxiety.
I often find myself stressed out. I need to figure out how to center myself better so I can be at peace more.
I love Eckhart Tolle, and am going to check out that book. Wedding planning can be stressful! I love your approach to staying present!
I have never heard of Eckhart Tolle before. So many suffer from constant stress and anxiety, it’s good to know that there is a book out there that can really help! Something I will pass along and maybe even look into for myself! Thanks for the great tip!